Thanksgiving Week

Our week last week did not turn out as planned.  How many times in the last 5 years have I had that thought?  At least we are well versed in flexibility, and we have learned a bit about perspective when it comes to our kids' illnesses.

The week was scheduled to be a short one for school, but also a busy one, with evening activities on both Monday and Tuesday night in addition to a couple of test/quizzes for Anna.  Monday went well, with a half day sub position for me that required a little more childcare finagling for Kate and Ethan than we're used to.

By the time I picked Ethan up, however, he was starting on an illness.  We had hoped to meet Matt at our community Bowls for Hunger event for dinner, but Ethan's symptoms plus Anna's extra homework caused us to make some adjustments.  Matt came home; Anna powered through her assignments; Ethan kept going downhill.  In the end, the girls and I trekked back in to town for the event while Ethan and Matt ate at home.  Ethan was willingly in bed and asleep by 6:30 ... yikes!  But the girls and I had a good time seeing former teachers and other community members.

Tuesday morning Ethan woke up with the remnants of the fever so he stayed home.  Kate was grumpy about having one more swim day at school, but otherwise everyone was in good spirits.

Ethan had a low key day on Tuesday with lots of snuggle time and quiet activities.  He opted to make a book for Kate and worked on it for a fair portion of the day.

By the afternoon, he seemed to be perking up.  But then we picked Kate up from school and the first thing out of her mouth was, "I'm really sick, Mom."  So, instead of killing time before picking Anna up and then going all together for our haircut appointment, we took Kate home and put her to bed first.  Her temperature was already flirting with 101 degrees.

Anna, Ethan, and I got our haircuts as scheduled.  Actually, Anna and I did.  Ethan got his haircut at home on Sunday evening ... a mohawk this time.

For a few years, someone in the family talks about giving Ethan a mohawk whenever we cut his hair, but he's never had the ability to sit still long enough during a haircut for it to work.  This time it did; it was pretty awesome when it was spiked, too :)

Unfortunately, Kate didn't want to join us much for dinner that day.  Also unfortunately, Kate, Ethan, and I had to stay home while Matt took Anna to her first choir concert.

Matt said all went well, except that the black dress shoes Anna was wearing didn't stay on too well by themselves.  Duly noted.

Here's a video of (part of) the intro Anna wrote for one song as well as her choir singing it.

Tuesday night began the first of the troubling nights in our home.  Ethan woke up with an earache and Kate woke up out of discomfort several times.  (But we still caught her with her headlamp on and reading at 2 a.m.!)

Wednesday, Kate and Ethan stayed home while Anna was incredibly disappointed about having to go to school.  I took the younger two in to the doctor in the afternoon and, sure enough, Ethan was diagnosed with an ear infection.  I figured that if we were going into the doctor's office anyway, I wanted Kate to get checked out, too, so that if something did come up later in the weekend, we wouldn't have to head back in.

It turns out that we weren't the only ones with these kinds of troubles last week.  The 1:45 p.m. appointment that we scheduled at 8 a.m. on Wednesday was one of the last ones available that day AND our local pharmacy didn't have enough children's antibiotic to fully complete Ethan's prescription that afternoon!

Needless to say, our Thanksgiving weekend was low-key.  We were immeasurably thankful that we didn't have any plans to travel anywhere or have anyone over this year.  We worshiped at our church on Thursday morning, ate a delicious meal on Thursday evening, watched a movie together on Friday afternoon, managed a fun trip to St. Vinny's on Saturday afternoon, and basically just hung out and recovered during the rest of the time.

Ethan was feeling much better by Thursday, but still had trouble sleeping most of the weekend.  Kate felt pretty crummy on Thursday and Friday, but by Sunday was starting to have her normal energy level again.

We are hopeful that this isn't a sign of whatever other viruses are looming on the horizon this winter!

Finding a better rhythm

Last week ended a little better than the previous week.  Perhaps it went more smoothly because there were zero evening activities scheduled?  Or perhaps it was because I only subbed for 1/2 day on Thursday (at Ethan's school this time!)?  Or perhaps it helped that Matt had Monday off of work and decided to work from home on Friday?

For whatever the reasons, it worked better.  And partly because of this better balance during the week, we were able to enjoy a few extra activities over the course of the weekend.

Friday night we decided to have a campfire, albeit a cold one.  The field behind our house was finally harvested on Friday afternoon so I thought it would be fun to have headlamps and flashlights out there while we waited for good coals for roasted marshmallows.  Things started off well, even with a brief opportunity to view the stars.

But then the fire was having a hard time getting started ... and then Kate came down with a stomach ache ... and then Anna got cold.

However, some of us enjoyed a few smores and some of us enjoyed the goofiness of Ethan that evening.  Everyone was definitely feeling more chipper on Saturday morning after a good night's sleep.

Saturday afternoon the girls and I met up with some friends to see the high school musical production our school did this fall.  Their performance of Annie was spectacular.  The talent of some of these teenagers is impressive.  We all enjoyed ourselves and the experience was made even more fun by all of the familiar faces we saw.  Although this outing was very last minute in nature, I'm glad that we did it.

Meanwhile, Ethan and Matt went to another kindergartener's birthday party.  It sounds like it was a fun experience, but our boy was pretty wiped out by the end.

Sunday afternoon we hosted our monthly "mom and me" book club.  This time around Kate chose the book Wish by Barbara O'Conner.  The sweet story encouraged this group of elementary/middle schoolers to think about what a family really is.  After our discussion and snacks, the kids thoroughly enjoyed their time in our basement :)

Here's hoping for a smooth few more days before a long weekend, during which we don't have to travel anywhere this year!

Finding the balance

This life of ours still seems to be about finding that delicate balance of time and energy split between five members who all have their own needs, interests, and pursuits.  I knew that this school year would be a tricky one for me in particular, having three kids in school full days for the first time.  Many of the patterns and routines that I have developed over the last dozen years are shifting.

Knowing that I would have more time available than I am used to, I put forth some effort during the last few months to prepare myself to use my skills and knowledge to help others outside of our home.  Substitute teaching is one of those avenues; presenting information about childhood cancer is another.

Last week I didn't do a very good job of finding the harmony that would make all of these things work together.  Everyone else did fine.  I just ended up more exhausted by the end of the week than I should have been.  Lesson learned.  I will continue to work on the skills necessary to balance all of these parts of life.

First the kids, though ... Kate had swim week last week.  Of all of the aspects of school, swim week is Kate's least favorite.  She enjoys swimming, but she dislikes public locker rooms.  A lot.  We have tried to teach her strategies to help her deal with this, but she still dreads swim week.  We had a grumpy girl on our hands a different times last week.

But, Kate likes the leaf pile ... which is still growing thanks to some neighbors.

We finally had Ethan's parent-teacher conference last Tuesday.  This boy is loving kindergarten, and kindergarten is loving him.  Our family's culture tends to set our kids up for success in school, and Ethan is no different.  Not only are Ethan's academic skills growing by leaps and bounds, but he is finally having all of the social opportunities that he enjoys :)

Here's his disguised turkey for the yearly kindergarten turkey project.  (There really is a turkey hidden in there!)  Not only does this boy have some good ideas, but he also has the ability, desire, and determination to work on them from start to finish.

Some of our best stories of his year, though, so far include his interactions with his teacher.  Early on in the school year, we learned that his teacher has a "Friday morning dance party".  Apparently, after a few weeks, Ethan asked his teacher why they don't ever listen to any 80s rock songs during their dance parties.

(Side note ... 80s rock songs are part of our family.  Matt and I learned early on that they are some of the few songs that we both enjoy listening to.  Now the kids like them, too.  Anna's pretty good at identifying many of the bands as well ... Twisted Sister, Def Leppard, Joan Jett, Guns N' Roses ...)

At this point in the story, it's helpful to know that Ethan's kindergarten teacher is a big Bon Jovi fan.  She asked Ethan what songs he was thinking of.  His response?  "The Final Countdown."  So, Ethan's kindergarten class listened to The Final Countdown during their snack time one morning.

The next day Ethan came home asking us to write down a list of 80s rock songs that he could share with his teacher so they could listen to more 80s rock songs as a class.  Now they have a few "older" songs to add into the general kid songs during their dance parties :)

During the conference last week, we also learned a little more about what Ethan calls his "talk time" with his teacher.  The students have a variety of options during their open choice time and one of them is now being able to just sit and visit with the teacher.  Given the option, Ethan chooses to sit at the back table and have his "talk time" with his teacher.  She shared that he usually opens the conversations with "So what are you having for dinner?"

We always knew that Ethan's early childhood experiences of participating in Anna's appointments and therapies would affect him.  Now we are getting an idea of how :)

Anna powered through a long week with strength and grace.  She has been able to take more ownership of her classroom learning and homework than she has previously, in addition to taking on more responsibility at home.  There are definitely still rough times, but they seem to be fewer and less intense than they have been in the past.

Anna and Ethan have joined the 4H club this year, along with Kate.  Last year was a bit of a trial run for the family, but I think we're committed to this being a good opportunity for everyone in our family.  Thursday night was the monthly meeting, which made for a long day.  But Anna seems to be finding ways to develop her confidence and identity through the experience.

She also is enjoying an extended supply of Tinker Crates.  For some reason her birthday gift from grandparents went a few months longer than anticipated, but that's okay with us.  Anna and Matt have had a good time building all manner of contraptions with these kits delivered right to our front door (!) ... all while listening to 80s rock songs :)

Mom's week consisted of a busy Monday prepping the home life for an anticipated busy week.  I had hoped to land a sub job on Tuesday, but I'm learning that these kinds of jobs tend to pop up as the week goes on.

Wednesday evening I was a guest speaker at a class for UW students pursuing educational psychology.  The pieces fell into place for this opportunity in a God-directed manner and the experience went very well.  I hope to be able to continue to share some of what we have learned about children's experiences with cancer with those who can have an educational impact on those same kids.

As I pulled into the driveway on Wednesday night, Matt was holding a phone call for me about a sub position at the high school as an aide on Thursday.  Since I'd like to get my feet wet at each school and get my name/face out in the district, I took the job.  (This is where I should have just said no since I was already pretty fatigued ... but I didn't ... and paid for it on Friday and Saturday.)

It's been a long time since I have been in a high school all day as part of the teaching staff and by the end of that day, my brain and my body were t.i.r.e.d.  But, now the special education staff there knows my face and my name, and I feel a little more comfortable getting back into that building.  And, I got to spend the first block of the day making a pair of mittens during a sewing class with a handful of pretty cool high schoolers :)

And then on Friday morning, we woke up to snow!  Yikes!  At least the kids already had the day off of school (even if Anna still had speech therapy at 8 a.m.).

All three of them ended up playing outside for a good portion of the morning, which was better than the afternoon since the snow had already melted by lunctime.

Then Kate and I ended up going to a 4H activity where we learned about the Hispanic cultural traditions of the Day of the Dead.



Somehow we have already had to transition to winter weather, even though there were still leaves littering the yard on Friday under the snow.  At least Matt had Monday off of work due to the Veteran's Day holiday so we were able to finish up the rest of the fall yard work, even if it never got above 30 degrees that day!

And now we are thrust into the holiday and birthday celebrations that are all fast approaching.  Hopefully, I will do a better job to find the balance in my life during the coming weeks.

Halloween and more

Although the actual holiday of Halloween went off without a hitch in our family, I dislike all of the commercialization surrounding the event, as well as the effects of the excitement on the morning of November 1.  Oh, well.

Over the years we have seen our neighborhood transition from having only one or two groups of trick-or-treaters before we had kids, to being one family of maybe three that visited the houses in our loop, to this year when the street was bustling with families.

I must admit that this year's trick-or-treating was perhaps the most fun that we've had in our neighborhood, simply because there were more people out and about.  The weather was absolutely beautiful for a late October day, too.  After years of cold and/or wet weather, we were able to enjoy the dry and relatively warm fall evening.

Without further ado, here is our crew dressed up for the adventure.

We didn't attempt anything too creative this year.  Ethan opted for a ghost costume that was left over from years ago.

Kate was looking forward to being a black cat (again).  She was very proud of the foil claws she made, although it made for a tricky time collecting candy out of the bowls :)

Anna's witch outfit probably required the most work.  A cool velvet dress and spiderweb tights from St. Vinny's was paired with a spooky shawl and witch hat borrowed from a neighbor.  The most work was transforming one of her crutches into a broomstick :)

Anna happened to have her weekly physical therapy on Halloween morning and at the middle school the kids are allowed to dress up, so she wore her costume all day.  Anna's PT dressed up as a shark this year :)

Ethan positively ran from house to house; Kate was caught between wanting to join him, but being anxious to go up to doors without me.  Anna was a trooper and used her crutches for the first half hour, but then we had Matt bring her walker over to us.  That made the last half of the trip more enjoyable and much safer for her.

The other parts of last week included a couple of conferences for Kate, a call from the school nurse for me to come and pick Ethan up, and mom's first substitute job on Friday.

Ethan had a rough start to the day on Thursday, probably in part due to the different evening routines on Wednesday night.  We thought he'd perk up once he got to school, and apparently he did until lunch.  Then he came down with a headache (which is characteristic of him when he's tired or sick).  The school nurse called me with about an hour left of school and the poor boy was miserable.  I was able to run in to get him, settle him down for a nap, change Kate's pick-up routine, find a neighbor to sit with the sleeping boy, and then pick Anna and Kate up.  Not exactly what I was planning for that afternoon, but it worked.

By the time dinner rolled around (and Ethan had slept for 2.5 hours), he was feeling much better.  But ... we didn't want to leave him home with Anna while Matt and I attended Kate's parent-teacher conference.  So, Kate and I drove in to Waubesa and included Matt via speaker phone.

Big picture, Kate's doing great this year.  She has a good relationship with her teacher, has continued to branch out in terms of friendships, and is finding ways to challenge herself and be challenged.  She is a careful, methodical thinker, loves to read and write, and is continuing to gain confidence.  We're looking forward to seeing what this year holds for her.

Friday mid-day Matt and I were able to have a joint conference with the advanced learner teacher at Waubesa.  Although Kate has worked with the advanced learner teachers since 1st grade, this is the first time I can remember being invited to have an actual conference with one.  We learned about Kate's specific strengths as well as how our district approaches students like Kate.  In general, we are pleased with how Kate's needs are being met.  She is definitely being challenged at an appropriate level.

On to the subbing saga ... for the last two and a half months, I have been gathering all of the necessary paperwork to become a substitute teacher in the McFarland schools.  I didn't realize how much the process entailed!  It reminded me of all of the hoops I had to jump through to get my initial WI teaching license :)

The paperwork finally came through on Wednesday and with the excitement of Wednesday as well as the uncertainty of Thursday afternoon, I hadn't had time to figure out all of the systems.  But when I got back to the house on Friday morning after dropping the kids off, I had a few phone calls waiting for me, including one from the secretary at Waubesa.

In the end, I took a position as a student aide that day.  I even managed to spend most of the day in Kate's 3rd grade teacher's classroom!  It was the perfect way for me to get my feet wet again in regards to working in a school.  We're planning on me taking a job one or two days a week this winter.  I'm hoping it will be a good experience for all involved :)

The rest of life had included preparing for the upcoming cold weather.  Our leaf bin is almost full and the yard is almost ready.  Hopefully we can get a little more accomplished before the freezing temperatures predicted for the end of the week!

Pears, pumpkins, and IEPs

The weekend with help was a success!

On Friday, my parents were able to load two truckloads of firewood into the basement with the help of Ethan and Kate.  Matt hauled in the final load on Saturday.  Hooray!

Between Thursday, Friday, and today (Tuesday), all of the pears from the big pear tree were either canned, eaten, given away, or stored in our refrigerator.  In the end we have an additional 14 quarts and 30 pints of diced pears, 2 quarts of pear juice, and 5 quarts of pearsauce.  That was a LOT of pears.  (Here's a photo of only about 1/3 of the pears picked.)

The weekend also included a sleep-over for Kate, a birthday party for Anna, a soccer game for Ethan, and a date night (!) for the parents.

I'm slightly ashamed to admit that the date night is perhaps the first "real" one in more than a year.  We managed to fit in a quick dinner, a walk on the boardwalk, dessert, AND a concert in Stoughton.

Unfortunately, I came down with a cold on Saturday afternoon.  But, taking it easy on Sunday and resting a lot on Monday seems to have helped; I've been feeling much better today.

Time to back up to Wednesday evening and Anna's IEP/re-evaluation meeting.  This meeting was scheduled before we all realized that it was the Wednesday before a 4 day weekend and the same day as the 4th grade field trip.  We were all a little tired when it started, and even more so when it finally ended after 2+ hours (!).

Big picture ... Anna still qualifies for special education services under the Other Health Impairments (OHI) category.  Her physical disability and visual handicap, in addition to her cognitive challenges of slow processing and weak working memory, will qualify her for services for quite awhile yet.

Amazingly, Anna has yet another amazing team surrounding her again this year.  Part of the reason for the long meeting was the sheer number of people involved ... regular education teacher, special education case manager, educational assistant, adaptive PE instructor, physical therapist, occupational therapist, speech therapist, nurse, school psychologist, county case manager, plus our family.  Yikes!

So far this year Anna has done a wonderful job of learning the grade level concepts and communicating them effectively.  Her team is doing a spectacular job modifying the amount of work required while still being able to teach and assess grade level expectations.

Also amazingly, Anna likes school.  She enjoys learning new things, interacting with a variety of people throughout her day, and she works hard to do her best.

We will continue to work as a team to help her develop as much independence as possible.  Some of the main areas to focus on this year will be her writing (both by hand and typed) to reduce her need for an aide, her task initiation skills, her time management skills, and her self-advocacy.

As always, finding the right balance for all of Anna's needs and goals is trickier and more time consuming than it is for our other kids.

After the meeting (which Matt and Ethan had to leave early so Ethan could get to his soccer practice) we ended up at Culver's for dinner.  The boys even joined us for the end!  Dinner and ice cream hit the spot, as did our family time piled on our bed telling Kat, Hannah, and Wheat Thin stories.  Those few hours together were a wonderful way to start the long weekend.

Carving pumpkins and a (disappointing) Packers game were a good way to end it.  Here's a few action shots of the carving process.

And the final products!

Quick updates

That day of catching up on life has still not arrived, but I am hopeful that it will happen soon.  The kids have off of school today (Thursday) and tomorrow (Friday).  My mom is coming today and my dad is arriving tomorrow to help out with some of the fall tasks that just haven't happened yet.  I have about 150 lbs. of pears that need to be preserved and we have not yet loaded any firewood into the basement.  Those are the main goals :)

In the meantime, here are some pictures and stories from the last week that provide some reasons why the extras haven't yet happened.

Last weekend was our church's confirmation retreat.  Every fall, the 6th, 7th, and 8th graders travel to a retreat center near Lake Geneva, WI, to spend the weekend together learning about the Lutheran faith traditions, but (just as importantly?) having the opportunity to spend time together and continue to develop their faith-filled community experiences.

As with all of Anna's life, this one required some extra preparation and communication about how to make it work best for her.  It was decided that I would accompany Anna as her on-the-spot helper, but also as an additional chaperone when possible.  Last week we knew that we had a few options for when Anna would arrive.

Much to Anna's disappointment, we decided to wait and join the group on Saturday morning instead of joining them right away on Friday night.  In the end, this was definitely the right decision.  Anna managed the 36 hours fine, but felt fatigued enough at the end to sleep the entire way home (kind of like after Timberlee).  She is wise enough to recognize that it would have been too much to go the whole time.

The experience was meaningful and memorable for all involved.  This group of kids is pretty cool.  Not only are they all generally "good" kids, but many of them have known one another since they were babies.

The 6th grader Sunday School class also had the added experience of dealing with Anna's diagnosis and treatment back in 2014; it was a rough year for those surrounding our family, too.  Several of them mentioned that they were most looking forward to being able to spend the whole weekend with friends from church, instead of just seeing them on Sunday.  Their community and togetherness is special.

The main memories of the weekend included gaga ball, the cup game, Foosball, playing games, food, cold weather, late night campfire, a movie, more gaga ball, more games, more food, and a little learning about baptism and confirmation thrown in for good measure.  But all of it happened at a gorgeous location.

We decided to pull the wheelchair out of the garage rafters so that Anna didn't have to walk up and down the hill several times a day.  After pushing her up the hill a handful of times on Saturday morning, I started recruiting the middle school boys to help get Anna where she needed to be :)

I would call the weekend a success for all involved.

When the kids were back in school on Monday and Tuesday, I spent my time trying to catch up on the home tasks and errands.  Much of the yard is ready for winter, but not quite all of it yet.

We added in a church meeting on Monday night for Mom, flu shots for Mom and the kids on Tuesday evening (Ethan DID NOT want his flu shot and very vigorously protested ... he is STRONG), and Anna's IEP meeting on Wednesday night (more on that another time).

Wednesday was the 4th grade field trip to Old World Wisconsin.  Kate really wanted me to go along, so since I could this year, I did.

Even though it made for some tricky scheduling with the rest of life, I am SO glad that I was able to join Kate's class on this expedition.  It was another beautiful fall day with another great group of kids who were able to experience and learn quite a lot about pioneering days in Wisconsin.

Just about every kid I asked said that the blacksmith shop was their favorite place to visit, although the animal encounters and the cobbler's shop were also high on their lists.

Whew!  And now on a Thursday morning, the kids and I are all still in our pajamas at 11:00 a.m.  But Matt is back at work after taking Wednesday off to help with some of the other family obligations of the day.

I am hoping, hoping, hoping to be able to give a more detailed update about each of the kids once we meet with their teachers and have the school's perspective on how the school year is going.  But first, other things need to happen.

Field Trips, Fall, and 4H

It's the middle of October, but I still don't feel like there's been much time to catch up on life since school has started.  I've had this list of "things to do once all of the kids are in school all day" for a few months (maybe even a few years) and I haven't made much headway on it yet.

So far the biggest accomplishment from that list was finally getting myself a back-up pair of glasses since my previous ones are at least 15 years old and no longer have the correct prescription. 

Somehow it feels like I should have more time to tackle other tasks.  But then things like taking the van in for maintenance happens, or field trips with the kindergarten class, or running errands to purchase necessary items like underwear and socks, not to mention hats, gloves, and boots.

I keep telling myself that one day I'll be able to do some of the non-urgent tasks.  I'll let you know when that day happens.

Last week included a couple of walking field trips for Ethan and Kate.  The kindergarten classes visited the fire station while the 4th graders walked to the public library.  Both groups had beautiful balmy weather for those trips ... before the frosty mornings began towards the end of the week.

Last week also included a few late nights due to 4H activities.  Thursday was the regular meeting whereas Friday night was the (rescheduled) family fun night at a local pumpkin patch/corn maze/farm fun location.

We were all excited to go and thought we could make the most of it with both of us parents around to help Anna as necessary.  But, somehow we forgot that she's extra tired on Friday nights ... and farms aren't exactly accessible locations ... and once Anna starts getting cold, she can't warm up very easily.

Kate was able to run around with her 4H friend, which meant that they missed the hot dogs at the bonfire and ate graham crackers and chocolate for dinner while they did the corn maze.  Hmmm ...

Ethan ended up having fun with a couple of the younger kids, especially when we went through the corn maze.

Anna ... not so much.  The small corn maze was okay, but then she was done.  Lesson learned.  At least Anna was able to recover over the weekend.

The other two didn't need much recovery time.  Kate had an extended birthday party on Saturday night; Ethan had a soccer game in the morning on Saturday and another birthday party on Sunday afternoon.  The girls and I wrapped up our weekend with our monthly book club.

After a few weeks of failing to take any pictures, here's a few I snapped in the last week or so.

Our fine, feathered friends are still doing well.  The girls are averaging about 2 eggs a day right now, but we're still waiting on the fourth chicken to start laying.

I've been encouraging everyone to get as much fresh air as they can in the afternoons, since the cold days of winter will be upon us before we even know it.  We'll work on enjoying the sunshine for as long as we can!