We recognize, however, that these fears are unfounded. Although Anna will not be included in the new memories being made, she will always be a part of the memories that are already there.
Some of the most uplifting interactions I have had in recent months are when someone says "I saw _____ and thought of Anna" or "_______ made me miss Anna today". Those specific bits of communication give me confidence that Anna will continue to be a part of the people who knew her, just as she will always be a part of our family.
Even though I know Anna won't be forgotten, we have participated in a few activities this spring/summer with the express purpose of remembering Anna together.
Books, Flowers, and Bookmarks
Shortly after Anna's memorial service, we thought it might be nice to do something with the flowers that were on display. Neither Matt nor I have much experience with drying flowers (or decorating for that matter) so we asked our book club friends in McFarland if they were interested in helping.
A few of the families in this book club are ones we have known in one way or another since Anna was a baby; others we met along the way. Many of them were involved in the organization of Songs for Anna in 2014. Many of them attended Anna's birthday parties both before cancer and post-cancer; several of them included Anna in birthday parties during the last several years. Many of them are considered part of our "McFarland family".
When we asked them to help with the flowers, one family had experience drying flowers whereas another family just happened to have an unopened flower press on hand. They got to work right away drying the different flowers.
As time passed, it was decided that we would meet up at someone's house to create a shadow-box display with the flowers for our home and then make bookmarks with the flowers and leaves that were left. Knowing the hearts of the organizers, I asked if a couple of Anna's friends from other circles could be included in this afternoon of art and creation. Of course, they welcomed whoever would be able to attend, so a close church friend and a good therapy friend both joined in.
One Sunday in early April, we all gathered at a friend's house for a beautiful afternoon of remembering and creating.
The bookmarks were distributed among the families in attendance, our family, and other close friends and family. Our family loves being able to use our bookmarks on a daily basis.
We have plans to meet again in August to finish up the shadow-box project and enjoy one another's company.
Yearbook Signing
Sometime in May, I remembered that we had ordered a yearbook for Anna's 6th grade year so I contacted Anna's case manager to see what could be done about that. Of course, this thought had already crossed her mind and she had plans to share.
During the usual yearbook-signing time, Anna's yearbook was passed around and made available to students and staff who wanted to sign. We picked the yearbook up on the last day of school and were very touched by the messages left, both by peers and staff. Their notes provided us with a window into how Anna will be remembered by those who knew her in her school circles.
We will treasure the yearbook as much as we treasure the memory cards from Anna's visitation and memorial service.
McFarland Sparks 4H and the Badger Childhood Cancer Network
Each year our 4H club applies for funds from a county endowment grant to help finance a local, community-impact project. In years past the club created a "pizza garden" in the community garden and developed a beautiful mosaic sign for the youth garden.
Last fall when the topic came up at a regular club meeting, one of the ideas presented was to create care kits for local children undergoing treatments for cancer. (The organizer of the grant didn't know Anna at the time.) At the meeting, Anna piped up with her characteristic optimism and bravery, sharing how she understood firsthand how meaningful those kits can be.
Anna's voice sharing her personal experience sealed the deal for many club families and it was agreed that this would be the project. In November, we were able to connect our club's grant organizer with the Badger Childhood Cancer Network, since the BCCN already provides these type of kits.
Then Anna passed away and the project took on new meaning.
Our club used the endowment grant to purchase the bags given to newly diagnosed families, the community participated in an Amazon wishlist fundraiser (which will continue to be active for anyone wanting to donate items) to purchase items for the kits, and members of our club spent an evening in July filling the bags. Each 4H member chose an age range and gender, grabbed a bag, and stuffed it full of toys, games, and other items to provide comfort and distraction to children with cancer or life-threatening blood disorders.
A poster explaining the experience was created and was shown at the Dane County Fair.
"In Loving Memory of Anna Mischnick"
We are in the process of having a bench placed in Anna's honor at McDaniel Park in McFarland.
During the spring I had the idea that it might be nice to have a bench in our community for others to visit and remember Anna. The whole family took to the idea and we chose McDaniel Park as the location.
McDaniel Park has been one of our family's favorite local parks for the last decade, beginning as soon as Anna was old enough for parks. The beach, the pier, and the playground provided us with an ideal place for picnics and playtime when the kids were young. More recently, our family enjoyed the opportunity to use the Lower Yahara River Trail connecting McFarland to other parts of Dane County.
We thought this would be the ideal location for anyone in McFarland to visit as well as other friends in Dane County if they're willing to take a bike ride on a beautiful boardwalk.
After we made our initial inquiries with the Village Public Works Department, we learned that some final landscaping adjustments would be made at McDaniel Park this summer after the major work of the last few summers that was required for putting in the bike path. Our request was perfectly timed.
The bench has been ordered and will be placed later this summer (probably in September). I will be sure to update this post when we know exactly when the bench will be ready for use.
We would love to receive a note, text, message, picture, etc. of when others stop by the bench to remember Anna. Then we will continue to be assured that those who knew Anna will continue to carry her with them in their hearts.
BCCN Superhero Run
Our family will be participating in this year's Badger Childhood Cancer Network Superhero Run on Saturday, September 14. More accurately, we will be walking in the 2 mile walk :) We created a team called "Amazing Anna's Awesome Team" (which was the great name created by friends in 2015 when Anna was an honorary superhero) and hope to see members of Anna's "teams" that morning as we walk, remember, and raise money for other local kids in need.
Please consider registering to join us here. Or you can simply donate in Anna's honor here. (We haven't been able to find a way to donate to Anna's team without registering yet, but hopefully those kink will get worked out of the system soon.)
In our home
Our family has its own ways to talk about and remember Anna. We think of her often and her name comes up in our conversations almost every day.
We have taken some time to deliberately remember Anna, too, especially around her birthday. However, those remembrances will remain private.
(I am continually conscious of protecting my heart and the hearts of my family members.)
1 comment:
Your mom mentioned that you were writing again and I’m glad you have found that strength. I think of and pray for your family often. You write beautifully and expressively with such meaningful words and insight. That’s a gift and I’m glad you are willing to share that gift again. I was so glad to meet you in person at John’s visitation. John, your dad, and Paul and Kathy were an important component of my family’s childhood and it was wonderful to reconnect with them for an evening-even in those sad circumstances. God bless you and your family as you “move forward”.
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