Overwhelming Moments

This life of ours can be overwhelming.  When everything is running smoothly and no one is sick, joy and happiness are the overwhelming emotions.  However, it doesn't take much to upset our delicately balanced life.  Then making it through each moment can feel overwhelming.

This is the time of year when lots of "extras" are thrown into the mix.

Kate had a music program for school one evening the other week; it didn't seem to be too bad until it became the third evening in a week that was thrown off in our family.  The other two were due to Anna's medical appointments.  Kate was very excited to sing her class song and all of the kindergarteners did a nice job, but still ... one more thing.

Last week was "swim week" for the second graders.  As with the other grades in the school, swim week entails each class walking 10 minutes or so to the high school, changing in the locker rooms, spending 30 minutes in the pool under the instruction of their regular gym teacher, changing again, and then walking back to school.  What I wouldn't give to be the parent of a "normal" second grader, especially during a week like this.  "Anna, make sure you pack your swimming suit, towel, and wear good walking shoes.  Don't forget to bring a raincoat in case it rains."

But that's not how it works now.  We (all of Anna's team) wanted to give Anna the opportunity to be in the pool with her class whenever possible, but that required multiple emails, phone conversations, and much coordination across the entire district to make it happen, for the only two days that Anna would actually be at school during her class's swim time.  In the end, the extra effort was worth it.  Anna loved the time in the water and I think her classmates were glad to have her along, too.  But still ... one more thing, and this one was a big one.

The next month or so includes several field trips for both the kindergarteners and the 2nd graders.  Kate's class trips are easier to deal with ... fill out the form, send in the money, and remember the day before the event.  Anna's are trickier ... Is watching an IMAX really in the best interest of someone with Anna's vestibular challenges?  (We decided against this trip.)  What kind of special transportation will Anna need?  How does the field trip affect her feeding schedule?  How wheelchair accessible is a farm?  And the list goes on.

Then there's the state testing.  What kinds of accommodations does Anna need?  Who is responsible for them?  These extras, at least, don't exactly fall on our shoulders.

Last week Kate came home with four (that's right, FOUR) birthday party invitations for the coming weeks.  Plus, we are in the midst of planning Kate's birthday party for the following weekend, and one short week after that is Anna's wish weekend at the Kalahari.

In addition to the extra "stuff" going on, Kate seems to be struggling a bit again.  Sometimes we forget just how much Anna's cancer affected Kate, too.  We had our mommy-Kate day last Tuesday, but even that day wasn't all about Kate.  Ethan had his gymnastics class and then our day was cut short by the need to pick Anna up.  During a heart-to-heart talk with dear Kate later in the week, she confessed to me "Sometimes I think I'm going to wake up and realize this has all been a dream."  Me, too, Kate.  Me, too.  That particular afternoon included many overwhelming moments.

To balance out the more difficult aspects of life, however, we are also overwhelmed by some of the positive moments.

Anna went to a birthday party at a bowling alley last weekend and had a great time.  The other girls (two of whom she didn't really know) were wonderful about including her in the bowling and other activities ... except the handstands and cartwheels :)

We have gone to a few parks in recent weeks and other kids have voluntarily interacted with Anna.  Sunday another 2nd grader from Anna's school came over to say hi and then played with Matt and Anna while they got Anna to go down some slides a handful of times.  Sure, lots of people still stare, but not everyone anymore.  The kids from school are very used to seeing Anna and interacting with her by this point.

We are still overwhelmed by the willingness of others to rearrange their schedules to help us out when we need it.

I am sometimes caught off-guard by the basic ability of Anna to make progress.  Over the course of the last few months, I have come to realize that Anna's situation is SO unique.  Unlike many kids with disabilities, Anna was not born with hers.  She can get stronger in a much different way than can other children we see on therapy mornings.

At the same time, I realize more and more how completely her treatments wiped her neuro-muscular system clean.  Many other kiddos who have received treatment for brain cancer have not been nearly as affected as Anna was.  The comparisons, in both directions, can be overwhelming at times.

And then there's Ethan.  As a friend told us this week at church, if everyone said "HI!" or "HELLO!" to others like Ethan does (when he's in a good mood), the world would be a much better place.  Dear Ethan certainly has a troublesome streak right now, but he obviously brings a lot of joy to those around him.

 At times, even the moments when the whole family is laughing together and goofing off can feel overwhelming, but in a good way.  I'd rather have these moments together in addition to the difficult ones, than none at all

Time for prayers

Thanksgiving
Please give thanks for the fresh air and exercise our kids have received the last few days; the cold, rainy weather of last week was getting us down.
Please thank God for the people working in our lives.  Everyone is still giving Anna their best, as she (usually) gives others her best effort.
Please give thanks for the day Kate and I spent together at home last week.
Please thank God for the wisdom, rest, patience, strength, peace, and joy that He grants.

Requests
Please ask God to continue to grant our family rest in the weeks to come; they have the potential to be busy and stressful.
Please pray for our continued wisdom, strength, patience, peace, and joy.
Please ask God to make our path clear for the summer months.
Please pray for those working with Anna, both at school and at the hospital and at therapy.
Please ask God to be with Anna this Friday as she has surgery to remove her port (!).
Please pray for Anna and her new feeding therapist as they begin their relationship together this week.

Thanks for your continued thoughts and prayers.