February 20, 2019

Dear Anna,

Two months.  That’s how long you’ve been gone.  I still think about you every day.  Some days I miss you more than others, for different reasons.

I was missing you today when I was putting away some of your “piles” that have been sitting around and collecting dust for awhile.

I missed you a lot on Valentine’s Day.  Kate and Ethan just don’t get into these kinds of holidays like you did.  They ended up making one card for “the family”, but not individual cards.  That was nice because it meant that they put their best efforts into the one card, instead of just cranking out multiple cards.  But, still.

I missed you saying things like, “Thank you for getting us this pizza tonight.  It’s SO good.”  Actually, we had pizza the night before Valentine’s Day.  On Thursday we had a quick meal so that we could go to the 4H meeting … which also wasn’t the same without you.  It was a lot easier to get everyone to hurry up and leave the house without you, but just because it’s easier in logistics doesn’t make it easier for my heart.  Your absence becomes more obvious to me in those moments.

I miss your presence in my life.  I miss the things that we would do together … play games, read books, do homework, go to appointments, school activities.  I miss the people that I would see that were a part of your life.  By being a part of your life, they were a big part of my life, too.

We’re managing as a family.  But the emptiness will always be with us.

Jesus loves you and so do we.

Mom